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My boyfriend doesn’t like to talk about our problems just ignore them and it’s really putting a damper on our relationship because I like to talk stuff over, not just blow it off. (theres more to it, i just dont want to go on and on about it)
we have been going out for 3+ years.
I just dont know if we should just give it a break, or what?
any ideas on what I can do to save this relationship?
I don’t know if my experiences would help. I found out my boyfriend was sending dirty texts to this slutty girl. I couldn’t get anything out of him except “i’m sorry” and “she’s nothing to me” so I told him I needed to have some space and that I’ll contact him when I’m ready. Well after a few days he really opened up and said he didn’t want to lose me.
Maybe if you were to take a break, he would realize that you’re serious and you won’t be walked on. You never know what you have until you lose it. He’ll realize it too. What do you have to lose? It’s not healthy to keep everything bottled up and away from each other.
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I’ve been in a relationship for almost 4 years now, and have been living together for the past year. There was a few “mistakes” made and a few too many hiding things…lies… We both want this to work, but don’t know how to fix it. He’s got a few trust issues from past relationships…how can we go on fixing this so that we can be happy again before the wrong move is made.
There is also children involved too (i have 2 and he has 1 we don’t have any together, but my lil one has known his since a baby)
You’ve got to work on rebuilding the trust.. that is the only way you can make it work this time.
Getting Back With An Ex takes some work and knowledge, which you can learn from a good relationship book.
Out of cursiosity, how many would say sorry to something even if it is not his/her fault just to save a relationship?
Whether a close relationship or even just a friend relationship, I have often said I’m sorry though it’s not been my fault – but the way I say it is that I’m sorry if what I did/said upset you but … and then explain – assuming my friend/partner would listen of course but as far as apologising for something I’ve not done, then no I wouldn’t. The problem, you see, is that sometimes the other side sees things differently – human nature I guess. Depends how close the relationship is and how much you value it as to how far you would go to apologise and/or take blame. After all, communication with each other is SO important for ANY relationship to succeed, don’t you agree?
Just my 2 pence worth anyway.
I have read the The Magic of Making Up and there is good advice on this subject.
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Almost every relationship goes through hard times but after you have been struggling for a long time to keep it alive you may ask if it is a relationship worth saving. Getting Back With An Ex is a decision that you need to think about seriously.
While the struggles continue there are some things you must think about to determine if fixing a broken relationship like the one you are in is actually worth the effort. If you are thinking about filing for a divorce or separating, you must look at these things truthfully and perhaps get some professional relationship help. If it is a relationship worth saving, then it is a task that is very important but may take a lot of effort.
Take Stock of Your Relationship
Ask yourself some serious questions and answer them truthfully – this is for your own benefit. Who are the people you most enjoy hanging out with? Is your partner one of them? Do you in all honesty enjoy spending time together? When was the last time you went out together and had a great time? Is it really possible for the two of you to do that? Are you happy just being alone with them? A good relationship is one where they can get pleasure from being together or can feel happy just having the person with them.
Is There Understanding in the Relationship?
A further important aspect to consider when you’re deciding to save a relationship or not is; do you believe that you are understood. Do you listen to your partner? Are you feeling like you are being listened to and that they understand you? Spend some time and try to see if they do indeed understand you and if you truthfully understand them.
A Comfortable Relationship
A spouse or a partner is meant to be someone who you can go to when you want comforted. Is the relationship one that provides you with comfort when you have gone through a bad experience? Or, is the relationship something that you consistently need comforted about? If you are looking elsewhere for comfort, there might be a dilemma.
A Cheating Partner
The most serious situation involves questions about infidelity or faithfulness; they have to be addressed immediately. Are they able to trust you? Are you able to trust them? If you’ve got a problem answering any one of those two questions positively, then you will either need some serious couple’s therapy or you should perhaps break up the relationship. A good relationship can not exist without trust.
So, is it a Relationship Worth Saving?
Before you can think about fixing a broken relationship, there are plenty of other things to think about – a decision like this should not be taken lightly. Ask profound questions and look for insightful answers and then you will be able to see clearly if it’s a Relationship Worth Saving.
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You hear it all the time; people complaining about problems with their relationships. The woman complains that her man works long hours and feels that he is not there for her. The man complains that his wife spends all her time looking after their children’s needs and that she doesn’t look after his needs. Can relationships like that be saved and should it be saved? Here is how to save a relationship.
Relationship Worth Saving?
You first have to decide whether the relationship is worth saving or not. While nearly every relationship can be saved with some effort, both partners must decide that they want to make it work. If a partner has opted out of a relationship and doesn’t want to get back in, there is little that can be done about it.
Some couples stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the kids. But that is never a good idea in the long run. The way to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both partners that the relationship is worth saving.
What are the Problems in a Relationship?
The next step is to pinpoint the difficulty or problems in a relationship. One of the largest problems in how to Save a Relationship is that folks believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
Many people think an affair is an issue that causes break ups, for example, but the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. As an example, a lack of true intimacy can end up in a straying partner. While most people consider the affair as the problem, the base cause of the affair was the absence of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you don’t deal with the lack of intimacy, then you will not stop the straying partner from having another affair. When you start to cope with core issues rather than symptoms, you are often able to save a relationship.
Share Your Thoughts with Your Partner
After you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both talking about your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Here is a tip; hold your partners hand when you are discussing your issues as a signal that you would like to reconnect even when your feelings are all over the place. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that they are not doing it because they want to hurt you. They are doing it because they wish to improve the relationship by discussing the problem areas in the relationship.
Create an Action Plan
After you have gone over the issues in your relationship, create an action plan to resolve them – take concrete steps on your action plan. For example; if you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together at least once a week. If you have not been communicating, then commit to spending twenty minutes before retiring to bed just chatting to one another.
An On Going Process
Ultimately, you must understand that saving a relationship is a continual process. You are going to take 2 steps forward only to take 1 step back. There’s going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Remember to be fast to apologize and slow to blame and you will Save a Relationship.
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