Do you think that having a baby when you’re on the verge of a divorce or breakup saves or completely destroys the relationship. Do you think its stupid for people to try conceive for that reason are stupid or do you think its a lagitamite reason? Do you know anyone who did that, what happened in the end?
Having a baby puts strain on even the most healthiest of relationships. Even the pregnancy puts strain on it. So, to bring a baby into a messed up relationship, would be like putting a child in the middle of a war. Things might be good at first but after the stress a baby comes with its going to get nasty thereafter as far as I am concerned. However, depending on the problems in the relationship, it might actually bring the couple closer especially if the trouble within the relationship was due to fertility or clingy issues.
I have two kids and have been with their dad for 5 years now. I didn’t concieve any one of my kids with the hope of saving my relationship with their dad. With every kid we have their is more pressure put on us both and therefore, we argue more. I love my kids to death and wouldn’t trade them for all the riches in the world but, they are a handful and cause a lot of stress. That puts a lot of strain on our relationship at times. Some times it brings us closer.
My personal opinion is that you shouldn’t try to have a baby if things are at the nasty level.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 9:34 am
We didn’t try to have a baby but we did end up getting pregnant while we was both talking about separating. It saved our marriage and have been very happy since and are expecting again. We couldn’t be happier. As to rather or not people who actually try it a legit reason but it doesn’t really guarantee the marriage will work out.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 10:22 am
I don’t personally know anyone that stupid and irresponsible.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 11:00 am
Don’t do it. My aunt thought the problems in her marriage would go away if she had children, but things just got worse. Her then husband was so f*cked up and he abused her all the time. She ended up getting a divorce, but not in time to keep her oldest son from getting into drug dealing. She should have had a permanent no-contact order, but no, she let her kids see their loser dad who got their oldest son into dealing drugs and made their youngest son feel so bad about himself that he attempted suicide. Her oldest son was murdered 5 years ago, probably because of his involvement in the drug scene. He left behind two children and an estranged wife who committed suicide in February.
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My f*cked up family.
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:22 am
It will not work and is not fair to the baby. Having a baby, just puts more stress on a relationship. Babies are precious, but they cannot save a failing marriage.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 11:40 am
When absolutely nothing else will work, having a baby is the last thing you want to do. It causes a lot of stress in a relationship. If both parents step up to the responsibility and work together it can strengthen a marriage but honestly, if the relationship isn’t going to work out, it isn’t going to work out and having a baby will just stress the situation more. Save your relationship before you think about adding another factor to it.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 11:59 am
It’s incredibly unfair for a child to be born with the job of saving a relationship. A child will not solve the underlying problems of a troubled relationship and more than likely create more problems. What a burden to put on a child.
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reproductive health nurse
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I DON’T THINK THAT IT’S THE RIGHT DECISION BECAUSE IF HE FIND OUT THAT YOU DID IT INTENTIONALLY THEN HES LIABLE TO TAKE OFF ANYWAY. IT’S THE WRONG THING TO DO, REMEMBER WHAT GOES AROUND COME’S AROUND MY GRANDMA USED TO TELL ME THAT IF IT’S MEANT TO BE THEN HE WILL COME BACK.YES I DO AND THE OUT COME WAS VERY BAD SHE LOST BOTH.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
It doesn’t always work but it’s not doomed to fail either…with my brother his girlfriend and him were about to break up and she stopped taking her BC to get pregnant to keep him with her…well my niece is 3 years old now and i have ended up raising her because my brothers GF doesn’t know what to do and my brother is in Afghanistan. They aren’t together anymore and my poor niece hardly knows who her mother is. She calls me and my mother mommy.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Probably not. My partner’s ex-wife did this. It did make my partner feel like he had to stay for the sake of the child – he stayed for about another 12 years but got increasingly depressed and angry about the whole situation. He felt trapped – 12 years is a long time to be feeling trapped. Anyway, eventually he left because he couldn’t stand being with her any more. His son is now 18 and his ex-wife has spent the last 6 years or so filling his head with hatred for his father – saying how he’s a quitter, doesn’t care about his son etc etc, to the point now where the son won’t have anything to do with him Oh, and she’s also taken him to the cleaners as far as money’s concerned (even though she never worked throughout their entire relationship) – so now he’s practically bankrupt.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 2:07 pm
no don’t do that i will make it worse my boyfriend got me pregnant on purpose but i didn’t know till after i had the baby he said he didn’t want me to leave him well that didn’t work out for him cuz we are no longer together we haven’t since like 1 year ago so having a baby wont solve anything don’t do it!!!!
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November 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
No. Its a cruel thing to bring a child into this world in hopes of saving a relationship. That is so wrong. You’ll end up messing up your child forever.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Having a baby puts strain on even the most healthiest of relationships. Even the pregnancy puts strain on it. So, to bring a baby into a messed up relationship, would be like putting a child in the middle of a war. Things might be good at first but after the stress a baby comes with its going to get nasty thereafter as far as I am concerned. However, depending on the problems in the relationship, it might actually bring the couple closer especially if the trouble within the relationship was due to fertility or clingy issues.
I have two kids and have been with their dad for 5 years now. I didn’t concieve any one of my kids with the hope of saving my relationship with their dad. With every kid we have their is more pressure put on us both and therefore, we argue more. I love my kids to death and wouldn’t trade them for all the riches in the world but, they are a handful and cause a lot of stress. That puts a lot of strain on our relationship at times. Some times it brings us closer.
My personal opinion is that you shouldn’t try to have a baby if things are at the nasty level.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
I think that is not a good reason to try and have a baby, dealing with a bad marriage/relationsip is stressful enough and dealing with a newborn can try even the best relationship. To me it seems like it would just be asking for trouble.
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November 23rd, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Oh yes, I think having a baby (or adopting) to try and salvage a relationship is the height of stupid and selfish behavior.
No child should be born with a job to do, whether that it saving a marriage or making someone feel complete.
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